Monday, October 31, 2005
You are Flat Sandals

Casual yet flirty
You look great in a simple top and jeans
Your look is approchable and cute!
What Kind of Sandal Are You?

posted @ 11:02 PM

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Your Birthdate: April 30

Your birthday on the 30th day of the month shows individual self-expression is necessary for your happiness.

You tend to have a good way of expressing yourself with words, certainly in a manner that is clear and understandable.

You have a good chance of success in fields requiring skill with words.

You can be very dramatic in your presentation and you may be a good actor or a natural mimic.

You have a vivid imagination that can assist you in becoming a good writer or story-teller.

Strong in your opinions, you always tend to think you are on the right side of an issue.

There may be a tendency to scatter your energies and have a lot of loose ends in your work.

You may have significant artistic talent and be very creative.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

posted @ 1:20 PM
Thanks to my sis Yax for the new look of my blog. Finally! Kaya lang black. Sana Pink. hehe.

Hmmm... I'm lovin my new skin. Actually, I would like to relate it to something that I am becoming. But I'd rather not do that now. Nothing's final yet. Most days, I sing "Perfect Day," "Me,Myself and I," "Mata" by Mojofly and all those songs that say "hey, I'll be fine." But then, there are still days that I listen to Hale's "the day you say Goodnight", and "stay" by Cueshe. My life's so crappy!!! harharhar. But I'm learning how to be happy again. And I know I will be soon. Last night I dreamt of a cake. when I looked up in my book of dreams what that means, it said: Dreaming about a cake, particularly a festively decorated cake, indicates good health and happiness. Well, in the dream that I had, I was the one who baked the cake and I decorated the cake. It's up to me to find my happiness. Well, God is giving and has given me a lot of reasons to be happy. The person the I love the most may have left me, but I still have my family and friends. And hey, I may have been hurt but I feel beautiful pain. I am more human now. And I'm glad I was able to give all my love. I was not afraid to commit, be hurt, take some risks and and make a fool of myself by being so mushy. I may have given up a lot of things but never will I regret. I did it all for love and I will do it again.^_^

I do hope this will be the last time that I'll be talking about my broken heart. I'm trying to pay more attention now to the people around, to what's happening to the society, world, etc. c",

posted @ 12:09 PM

Wednesday, July 27, 2005
I forgot who the author of this was. But I do hope you will read the whole of it.

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister. Everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a stand still.

None of us can be in the present and in the past at the same time. Not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return. We cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away ad has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it may be) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return. Do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, and your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again - the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss. That is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, and decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished. Tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, and shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were and change into who you are.


Two days before my office mate sent me this e-mail, I got home so excited to view his profile (friendster), look at his picture and read my testimonial in his account and his testimonial in mine (though I really don’t have to because I’ve already memorized it). Believe it or not, I could go on for hours just reading everything in his profile, look at his pictures and just taking the chance to see if he is also logged in. It was kinda crazy but I was happy doing that. Then afterwards, before I go to sleep, I cry. I loved the feeling. It helped me heal. I learned how to embrace the feeling of pain and longing for him and his love. But then, on that day when I went home, I saw the word SINGLE in his profile. Although I was already expecting to see it weeks before, actually seeing it made me realize how painful it could be. But it did help seeing it. Now, what my friends have been telling me (that he won't be back) finally sank in.

I may have been healing, but I wasn't moving on, I realized. Then I read the email. I realized its time for me to take the next step. Leave the memories behind and as it was written, change into who I am. I'm ready to take another step. I am slowly accepting that he will never come back. I'm almost ready to let him go. I'm helping myself now. And I also thank him for helping me move on. It's been a month now since we parted ways. It's been a month that I kept on praying for him to be back, for him to realize that he still loves me and for him to realize that he needs me. But now, I know that will not happen anymore. Embracing the pain, crying, looking at our pictures and thinking about all the good times we've had won't help me move on and won't make him come back. Closing cycle...I'm moving on. It may be difficult but it is important.

posted @ 1:50 PM

Thursday, July 14, 2005
I'm on the verge of giving up and running away from something that I know if I just put my mind and heart into would lead me to become somebody that I want to be. Thing is, I lack the passion. I'm talking about work. You guys are probably tired of reading about my sorry love life. Let me do away with that for now and think about things that I have control over. (I still miss him though...)

Anyway, as I was saying, I'm thinking about just filing my resignation and accept my mom's offer for me to go back to school and get a master's degree. But then, I can't enroll now coz I'm almost 2 months late. If I resign now, what will I do for the next 3 months until the next semester? Duh...why didn't my mom offered me that before classes started? But then, each time I plan to resign, I remember all the things that happened from the day I was interviewed, to my training days, until I transitioned from training to operations.

Interview at HSBC

1.I wasn't prepared coz I still did not want to work
2.I was nervous (if I am, it will really show), I didn't answer the questions confidently
3.I felt sleepy when the third interviewer interviewed me. (if I am, I talk nonsense)
4.When asked what my long-term and short-term goals were, my answer for the separately asked questions was the same.
5.I was so so...

But then, I still got the job. Hey, I'm not bragging ok? I'm still amazed until now.


1.People told me how lucky I was to be in HSBC because I am just a fresh grad and of course, no call center experience.
2.Second day of training, it rained so hard. I didn't have an umbrella. I wondered how the hell am I going to get off the bus without getting soaked to the bones?! Then, God sent an angel. I was able to strike a conversation with a lady. After a while she asked me, "may payong ka ba?" Syempre sabi ko wala db? Then she offered me a plastic bag (?). She told me to put the newspaper that I was carrying and that'll serve as my improvised payong. Oo nga naman. I was thankful for her. It did help a lot. HOWEVER, Buendia area is not so kind to commuters when it rains. There are several deep holes. My beautiful high-heel shoes sank into one of those. And because it was just my head that was covered, my pin striped pants was soaked. WTF! I wanted to go home. I never wanted to go to Makati ever again. So I asked for a sign if I should ever go back to HSBC (things like that really do come to your mind when you do things half-heartedly). Then, a bus stopped right in front of me. Okay, okay, I'm going. So there I was, half-soaked to death and chilling because of the blasting air-conditioning, traveling the road to Ayala Ave. (we were in PBCom then). Because there were an awful lot of people inside the bus, I couldn't hear the manong shouting where we were already. And because I was so plain stupid for depending on manong's announcement, I was able to reach GLORIETTA! WTF! I've had it. I can't take a cab coz its so traffic. I better start walking. DAMN! I wanna go home. So I told myself, if I don't make it to PBCom by 8:30, I'm going home and I'll resign tomorrow (attendance is so important to HSBC). So I freakin' walked. It was 8:00. By 8:20 I was there...
3.ISD (transition from training to operations). I felt like everything that I was doing was wrong. I cannot remember the process. I felt stupid. Although this is my first job and first call center experience, I know being so is not an excuse for not performing well. I planned to really resign. Then I prayed for a sign that I should not do so. I got the answer immediately. I got a perfect score in an exam that I knew so little about.
4.We were told that we are so lucky about being in HSBC. Many are dying to have the seats that we have. True. Then, our trainer told us that we are so fortunate that unlike the manong that he saw earlier carrying a huge cabinet that he is selling, we are in an air-conditioned room, with computers with LCD monitors, nice chairs, free water, coffee, ice tea, and lemonade. Yeah, I'm lucky have my job.

Will I resign? I hope not. I hope I won't give up. It does take time to get so used to the processes. But because I am so hard on myself, I hate myself for not performing above expectations at once. I feel stupid when talking to the Americans because I can't address their questions directly. My probing skills still calls for a lot of improvement. I am passive. I am not pro-active. Tapos I lack pa the passion. Sama ng combination. Aarrgh...Sakit na ng ulo ko. But I'm glad my tranche mates are so supportive. But then again, sobrang pressure kase they are all so good. Pray for me guys. I need it more than ever. I just can't run away from something that I decided to do, can I?

posted @ 11:52 AM

Friday, July 08, 2005
My current favorite song: We Belong Together

Favorite Lines:

When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
Cause we belong together...

Haaayyy... hirap ng broken hearted.

posted @ 11:34 AM

Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Got this from my office mate. Talk about the right timing...

A girl won't cry easily.Except in front of the person she loves most. She becomes weak. A girl won't cry easily. She will only when she loves you the most. She puts down her ego. Guys, if a girl cries because of you, please hold her hands firmly. She's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life. If a girl cries because of you, please don't give her up because your decision might ruin her life. When she cries in front of you, when she cries because of you, look into her eyes. Can you see and feel the pain she's feeling?

She cries not because she wants sympathy or pity. She cries because suppressing her tears is no longer possible. The pain and agony have become too big a burden to be kept inside. Guys, if a girl cries her heart out to you and all because of you, it's time to look back on what you've done. Do consider it because one day, it may be too late for regrets. It may be too late to say "i'm sorry."

Remember one falls in love by CHOICE, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by CHANCE, it is by WORK and no one falls out of love by CHANCE, it is by CHOICE.

I so wanted to be with him for the rest of my life...

posted @ 10:05 AM

Sunday, July 03, 2005
When she got out of the car this time, she was completely broken. She felt so lost. She just can't forget how pathetic and painful it was for her to ask if he still loves her. She didn't get an answer from him. He just said "I'm sorry." You all know what he means. Still, she didn't feel anger or hate. She loves him so much to feel that way.

Then, flashbacks of the months that they were together flooded her thoughts. His red shirt, that perfect date, the Mcdo breakfst, their first day together, their first mass, the beautiful bouquet on her birthday, their fun talks, their first fight,their plans, his jokes, his warm embrace, his promises, his touch, his thoughtfulness, his little surprises, and that beautiful face that she was always waiting for outside the house. It's all gone now...He is gone now. He already left the girl he once called "LOVE." And she is broken into pieces.

posted @ 7:25 AM

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