A BUM'S LIFE

2005-10-31T23:02:00.000+08:00

You are Flat Sandals

Casual yet flirty
You look great in a simple top and jeans
Your look is approchable and cute!

2005-08-10T13:20:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: April 30

Your birthday on the 30th day of the month shows individual self-expression is necessary for your happiness.

You tend to have a good way of expressing yourself with words, certainly in a manner that is clear and understandable.

You have a good chance of success in fields requiring skill with words.

You can be very dramatic in your presentation and you may be a good actor or a natural mimic.

You have a vivid imagination that can assist you in becoming a good writer or story-teller.

Strong in your opinions, you always tend to think you are on the right side of an issue.

There may be a tendency to scatter your energies and have a lot of loose ends in your work.

You may have significant artistic talent and be very creative.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Lovin' My New Skin...

2005-08-10T12:09:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my sis Yax for the new look of my blog. Finally! Kaya lang black. Sana Pink. hehe.

Hmmm... I'm lovin my new skin. Actually, I would like to relate it to something that I am becoming. But I'd rather not do that now. Nothing's final yet. Most days, I sing "Perfect Day," "Me,Myself and I," "Mata" by Mojofly and all those songs that say "hey, I'll be fine." But then, there are still days that I listen to Hale's "the day you say Goodnight", and "stay" by Cueshe. My life's so crappy!!! harharhar. But I'm learning how to be happy again. And I know I will be soon. Last night I dreamt of a cake. when I looked up in my book of dreams what that means, it said: Dreaming about a cake, particularly a festively decorated cake, indicates good health and happiness. Well, in the dream that I had, I was the one who baked the cake and I decorated the cake. It's up to me to find my happiness. Well, God is giving and has given me a lot of reasons to be happy. The person the I love the most may have left me, but I still have my family and friends. And hey, I may have been hurt but I feel beautiful pain. I am more human now. And I'm glad I was able to give all my love. I was not afraid to commit, be hurt, take some risks and and make a fool of myself by being so mushy. I may have given up a lot of things but never will I regret. I did it all for love and I will do it again.^_^

I do hope this will be the last time that I'll be talking about my broken heart. I'm trying to pay more attention now to the people around, to what's happening to the society, world, etc. c",

CLOSING CYCLE

2005-07-27T13:50:00.000+08:00

I forgot who the author of this was. But I do hope you will read the whole of it.

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister. Everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a stand still.

None of us can be in the present and in the past at the same time. Not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return. We cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away ad has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it may be) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return. Do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, and your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again - the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss. That is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, and decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished. Tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, and shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were and change into who you are..

Kittyk8's

Two days before my office mate sent me this e-mail, I got home so excited to view his profile (friendster), look at his picture and read my testimonial in his account and his testimonial in mine (though I really don’t have to because I’ve already memorized it). Believe it or not, I could go on for hours just reading everything in his profile, look at his pictures and just taking the chance to see if he is also logged in. It was kinda crazy but I was happy doing that. Then afterwards, before I go to sleep, I cry. I loved the feeling. It helped me heal. I learned how to embrace the feeling of pain and longing for him and his love. But then, on that day when I went home, I saw the word SINGLE in his profile. Although I was already expecting to see it weeks before, actually seeing it made me realize how painful it could be. But it did help seeing it. Now, what my friends have been telling me (that he won't be back) finally sank in.

I may have been healing, but I wasn't moving on, I realized. Then I read the email. I realized its time for me to take the next step. Leave the memories behind and as it was written, change into who I am. I'm ready to take another step. I am slowly accepting that he will never come back. I'm almost ready to let him go. I'm helping myself now. And I also thank him for helping me move on. It's been a month now since we parted ways. It's been a month that I kept on praying for him to be back, for him to realize that he still loves me and for him to realize that he needs me. But now, I know that will not happen anymore. Embracing the pain, crying, looking at our pictures and thinking about all the good times we've had won't help me move on and won't make him come back. Closing cycle...I'm moving on. It may be difficult but it is important.

2005-07-14T11:52:00.000+08:00

I'm on the verge of giving up and running away from something that I know if I just put my mind and heart into would lead me to become somebody that I want to be. Thing is, I lack the passion. I'm talking about work. You guys are probably tired of reading about my sorry love life. Let me do away with that for now and think about things that I have control over. (I still miss him though...)

Anyway, as I was saying, I'm thinking about just filing my resignation and accept my mom's offer for me to go back to school and get a master's degree. But then, I can't enroll now coz I'm almost 2 months late. If I resign now, what will I do for the next 3 months until the next semester? Duh...why didn't my mom offered me that before classes started? But then, each time I plan to resign, I remember all the things that happened from the day I was interviewed, to my training days, until I transitioned from training to operations.

Interview at HSBC

1.I wasn't prepared coz I still did not want to work
2.I was nervous (if I am, it will really show), I didn't answer the questions confidently
3.I felt sleepy when the third interviewer interviewed me. (if I am, I talk nonsense)
4.When asked what my long-term and short-term goals were, my answer for the separately asked questions was the same.
5.I was so so...

But then, I still got the job. Hey, I'm not bragging ok? I'm still amazed until now.

Training

1.People told me how lucky I was to be in HSBC because I am just a fresh grad and of course, no call center experience.
2.Second day of training, it rained so hard. I didn't have an umbrella. I wondered how the hell am I going to get off the bus without getting soaked to the bones?! Then, God sent an angel. I was able to strike a conversation with a lady. After a while she asked me, "may payong ka ba?" Syempre sabi ko wala db? Then she offered me a plastic bag (?). She told me to put the newspaper that I was carrying and that'll serve as my improvised payong. Oo nga naman. I was thankful for her. It did help a lot. HOWEVER, Buendia area is not so kind to commuters when it rains. There are several deep holes. My beautiful high-heel shoes sank into one of those. And because it was just my head that was covered, my pin striped pants was soaked. WTF! I wanted to go home. I never wanted to go to Makati ever again. So I asked for a sign if I should ever go back to HSBC (things like that really do come to your mind when you do things half-heartedly). Then, a bus stopped right in front of me. Okay, okay, I'm going. So there I was, half-soaked to death and chilling because of the blasting air-conditioning, traveling the road to Ayala Ave. (we were in PBCom then). Because there were an awful lot of people inside the bus, I couldn't hear the manong shouting where we were already. And because I was so plain stupid for depending on manong's announcement, I was able to reach GLORIETTA! WTF! I've had it. I can't take a cab coz its so traffic. I better start walking. DAMN! I wanna go home. So I told myself, if I don't make it to PBCom by 8:30, I'm going home and I'll resign tomorrow (attendance is so important to HSBC). So I freakin' walked. It was 8:00. By 8:20 I was there...
3.ISD (transition from training to operations). I felt like everything that I was doing was wrong. I cannot remember the process. I felt stupid. Although this is my first job and first call center experience, I know being so is not an excuse for not performing well. I planned to really resign. Then I prayed for a sign that I should not do so. I got the answer immediately. I got a perfect score in an exam that I knew so little about.
4.We were told that we are so lucky about being in HSBC. Many are dying to have the seats that we have. True. Then, our trainer told us that we are so fortunate that unlike the manong that he saw earlier carrying a huge cabinet that he is selling, we are in an air-conditioned room, with computers with LCD monitors, nice chairs, free water, coffee, ice tea, and lemonade. Yeah, I'm lucky have my job.

Will I resign? I hope not. I hope I won't give up. It does take time to get so used to the processes. But because I am so hard on myself, I hate myself for not performing above expectations at once. I feel stupid when talking to the Americans because I can't address their questions directly. My probing skills still calls for a lot of improvement. I am passive. I am not pro-active. Tapos I lack pa the passion. Sama ng combination. Aarrgh...Sakit na ng ulo ko. But I'm glad my tranche mates are so supportive. But then again, sobrang pressure kase they are all so good. Pray for me guys. I need it more than ever. I just can't run away from something that I decided to do, can I?

2005-07-08T11:34:00.000+08:00

My current favorite song: We Belong Together

Favorite Lines:

When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
Cause we belong together...

Haaayyy... hirap ng broken hearted.

2005-07-05T10:05:00.000+08:00

Got this from my office mate. Talk about the right timing...

A girl won't cry easily.Except in front of the person she loves most. She becomes weak. A girl won't cry easily. She will only when she loves you the most. She puts down her ego. Guys, if a girl cries because of you, please hold her hands firmly. She's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life. If a girl cries because of you, please don't give her up because your decision might ruin her life. When she cries in front of you, when she cries because of you, look into her eyes. Can you see and feel the pain she's feeling?

She cries not because she wants sympathy or pity. She cries because suppressing her tears is no longer possible. The pain and agony have become too big a burden to be kept inside. Guys, if a girl cries her heart out to you and all because of you, it's time to look back on what you've done. Do consider it because one day, it may be too late for regrets. It may be too late to say "i'm sorry."

Remember this...no one falls in love by CHOICE, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by CHANCE, it is by WORK and no one falls out of love by CHANCE, it is by CHOICE.

I so wanted to be with him for the rest of my life...

2005-07-03T07:25:00.000+08:00

When she got out of the car this time, she was completely broken. She felt so lost. She just can't forget how pathetic and painful it was for her to ask if he still loves her. She didn't get an answer from him. He just said "I'm sorry." You all know what he means. Still, she didn't feel anger or hate. She loves him so much to feel that way.

Then, flashbacks of the months that they were together flooded her thoughts. His red shirt, that perfect date, the Mcdo breakfst, their first day together, their first mass, the beautiful bouquet on her birthday, their fun talks, their first fight,their plans, his jokes, his warm embrace, his promises, his touch, his thoughtfulness, his little surprises, and that beautiful face that she was always waiting for outside the house. It's all gone now...He is gone now. He already left the girl he once called "LOVE." And she is broken into pieces.

2005-06-27T07:50:00.000+08:00

She got out of the car although she didn't want to. She never wanted to... but she had to. She was about to burst into tears but she managed to hold it back. He can't see her cry. She can't show pain in her eyes. Now she had to accept that things aren't the same anymore.

She sat at the front door, cried her heart out. But after that she managed to smile. She knows how to love again. She feels the most wonderful feeling of loving and giving. And though she was hurting, it was beautiful pain that she felt. She will continue to love and understand him. Give til she has no more. Every second that he is still with her counts. For she has the feeling that the faint look of love in his eyes will be gone soon...

Pieces of Me

2005-06-20T10:08:00.000+08:00

On a Monday I am waiting
Tuesday I am fading
And By Wednesday I can't sleep
Then the phone rings I hear you
And the darkness is a clear view
Cause you've come to rescue me

Fall, with you I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath
I hope it lasts

Ohhhh
It seems like I can finally
Rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhh
It's as if you know me better
Than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

I am moody and messy
I get restless and it's senseless
How you never seem to care

When I'm angry you listen
Make me happy, its your mission
And you won't stop till I'm there.

Fall, sometimes I fall so fast
When I hit that bottom crash
You're all I have

Ohhhh
It seems like I can finally
Rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhh
It's as if you know me better
Than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

How do you know?
Everything I'm about to say
Am I that obvious?
And if it's written on my face
I hope it never goes away
Yea

On a Monday I am waiting
By Tuesday I am fading
Into your arms
So I can breathe

Ohhhh
It seems like I can finally
Rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhh
It's as if you know me better
Than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
Ohhhh
I love how you can tell
Ohhhh
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
Pieces, pieces, pieces of me

Just a Quick Update About Me

2005-06-04T06:48:00.000+08:00

I'm training to be a Processing Executive for HSBC. I'm not only having a great time at work, but I am also so proud to be working in a prestigious and stable company. I'm already at my Process training and it is quite difficult. But hey, I'm so loving it so I'll do my best and whatever it takes to pass.

Its been like a month since I last updated my blog so, I wasn't able to share bout my first weeks in my CORE training which was a blast! Our trainer for CORE is an RX 93.1 jock!! Claude, our trainer, is the partner of Dr. Love in the Late Night Love clinic. Isn't that so cool?! And in addition to that, I belong to the coolest and brightest Tranche. Well, I could say I really am so lucky to be among a bunch of really good people. I almost feel inferior. But well, I promise to make myself, my family, and DLSU-D proud.

Watch out for my new blog guys. Its coming soon.

Better than the Usual NIght-Out

2005-05-15T08:20:00.000+08:00

Last night, I so wanted to see all of my best buds from high school before I start working on Monday. I figured that when I start working, it's going to take a long time before i see them again because of the conflicting schedules that we have.

So anyway, it was again, a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment gathering that i called for. Yang, Candy and Ica, were as usual, the friends that I can always count on to be present. (Ica will always always be because her house is the official tambayan.=))Too bad apple couldn't come because of work. Alvin and Amor if you are reading this, you owe us, BIG TIME!! Patricia showed up later that night with a diamond ring on her finger. We all got so kilig with the way her boyfriend, Leo proposed. Then after she left, it dawned on us... Darn! We really are getting older.

Ica, Yang and I were the only ones left at around 1 am. To sleep would be the last thing we will ever do so, what the heck, we talked about everything. We talked about the wacky stuff we did in high school,career, life, death, past relationships,and family stuff. It was one of the most amazing talks I've ever had with them. We laughed and we cried. We didnt notice the sun was up until Kermit the Frog decided to grace us with his presence. Curse that frog for putting an end to a really good conversation.

So to you guys, Ica, Yang, Candy, and Patricia, thanks for one great night. Looking forward to our next tambay. Hope we will be complete by then.

Counting the days 'til "My Big Day"

2005-05-09T21:19:00.000+08:00

To my sis, Yax, borrow muna ng title. harharhar

Exactly a week from today, my incredible BUM LIFE will come to an end. I may be so dying to earn my own money already but i'm not sure i'm just about ready to give up my 12 hours of sleep everyday and 2 hours of playing diner dash. god, i'm so gonna miss my bed and flo!

Anyway, though quite not ready yet to be expelled from being a bum, I had to face the fact that in a week's time I'll be working. So what I did today was I tried to re-learn my lessons in english since I'm going to be in a call center. Got so bored taking the tests on the internet after fifteen minutes so guess what?! I ended up playing Diner Dash!

Come 5 p.m. this afternoon while I was out buying ingredients for my refrigerated cake, I received a call from Convergy's. They scheduled me for an interview tomorrow afternoon. I agreed to come. But will I really? I'm giving it a deep thought. Hope a sign comes up!

Gimik on a Sunday

2005-05-02T18:51:00.000+08:00

The last time I went out on a gimik with friends was about three years ago. Really! Books and paperworks were the only things that kept me up late at night and school was the only place i met friends. What a really boring life...

And now, gimik on a Sunday night? How bad could it ever get? I don't care. That gimik was the best i ever had. Thanks to Apple who invited me to join her and her office mates at Convergy's for their pay day-rest day gimik. Her friends were the coolest. Nini, Nina, Daena, Jhobs, Del, Kate, and the rest of the guys, thanks so much for a wonderful evening, dawn and morning.

Anyway, we went to arkdia where we laughed, drank, and danced the night away. Nini was quite disappointed because of the lack of "papables" in the house. I didn't mind it coz i was texting mr. significant all the time. He didn't join us coz he wanted me to have a really gud time (awww...). The place closed at 4:30. I thought they will call it a night. But i forgot one thing. They are call center people. Night is day to them. The rising of the sun will mean the only time for them to go home. I was worried bout what my mom will say. But Apple assured me that she talked to her. I would also hate to leave coz i was enjoying myself so much. Anyway, we headed to baywalk for coffee and more kwento. I had so much fun with them. We were planning on going to Puerto Galera for their next payday. I was so touched because they wanted me to join them again on their next gimik. But i'm afraid i could no longer do that. guess why? I went home at 6:00 am. three years of not going out and then one day i go home at 6 am... talk about sinulit ang paggimik. ayan hindi na makakaulit.

One of My Best Days

2005-05-01T02:23:00.000+08:00

I turned 21 today! Not so happy bout getting older but i'm raving because this day turned out to be one of my best birtdays ever! here's why...

I received that beautiful bouquet at an insane hour. Insane but really romantic hour, should i say. A very significant person called and woke me up at 2 am(!), telling me he came back (after he dropped me off at 11) because he couldn't sleep (DU-UH!!). So, being the very kind person that I am, i pulled myself from bed so that i could join him and tell him lots of kwento that might help him feel the need to sleep.sheesh! So, imagine my surprise (and the stunned and stupid look on my face)when he held out in his arms the most beautiful bouquet of flowers i have ever received in my entire life! I was speechless and i felt like i could cry. After a few more minutes of moi just beaming at him, and him enjoying the look on my face, he said good bye and promised to be back in the afternoon.

And so he did. We had a very simple lunch with my family sans my eldest sister and my two cutie pamangkins who ditched me for another birthday party. After that, i spent the whole day with him. We did the usual mall-movie-dinner-coffee thing but it was so much fun. I got a bonus pa pala. I met his really cool friends at Starbucks. I was afraid to meet them at first coz i might get op. Pero the moment i got there, they were really so friendly and i was comfortable with them within minutes. I was even laughing my heart out with their jokes. Thanks Ann, Raffy, Pao, Gay and Denis for a great time. Hope to hang out with you guys again.

Its 3 am now and my big day just ended hours ago. But the memories of my 21st birthday will stay with me forever.

2005-04-24T12:46:00.000+08:00

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Boy I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Boy you know I love you,I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us

A Perfect Day!

2005-04-12T23:04:00.000+08:00

Today, I had the most wonderful day! I got to spend my entire day with two of my best friends, Mimay and Jay. It has been quite some time since I got to spend some quality time with Mimay since we both went to college. We kept in touch but we seldom did our bonding activities like going to the mall, watching people while we eat at a fast food store, talking about our friends, gossiping, and most especially goofing around the grocery store. Gosh, i miss those days. Now that we are both bums, we had an opportunity to pick up where we left off. And this day was the best, so far, of them all. Well, Mimay's Bum Life will end on Friday, so she is making every minute count.

With Jay, Mimay and I, and so did everyone in the tropa lost touch of him for almost a year. I don't know what happened, but that is not important anymore. We, including everyone in the UG Tropa (my barkada way back in elementary) are just glad we found him again.I will always remember that day he called me up after such a long time. The feeling was amazing. It's like, I thought I've lost someone, and then there he was.

Anyway, today we went to the SSS in Baclaran but then it turned out none of us brought the complete requirements. So, we had to go back to our homes and get our birth certificates. We met again at Mimay's place and went to the SSS in Alabang. Whew! That was tiring and not to mention, costly. On our way back, we accompanied Jay to Bank of Commerce where I had my OJT. He's going to have his OJT there. But i warned him not to do anything that will ruin my good name there. hehe. After that, went to Mimay's place again and ate the most delicious squid balls (it is smothered with mayonnaise,ketchup and chili sauce). YUM! Planned to go to Alvin's place but decided not to disturb him because he had some "thesis stuff" to do (poor alvin,still stuck with school work). Instead, we went to Avon because Mimay wanted to be a member. After getting high with the smell of paint inside the new Avon store, Mimay and I declared that we are hungry again. So, we went to Jollibee and ate our hearts out. Then, we went here at my place to surf the net and drool over the latest mobile phones. For dinner, we had dried pusit and daing with kamatis because the beef which was intended to be sinigang, was still not tender after two hours of cooking it in our stupid, useless pressure cooker. Anyway, we still ate a lot and my diet was ruined. Damn! Reminds me i have to pay for it tomorrow by doing my aerokaebo.

Then they had to go. It was getting late and we still have a lot to do tomorrow. And just when i thought my perfect day ended, i decided to call Candice, and we had a really nice chat. This day was really perfect. Hope by the end of this week, I'll get to see all of my UG tropa.

i stand by my decision and i refuse to regret!

2005-04-08T19:53:00.000+08:00

I signed a contract with HSBC. I was placed under collections and sales division and it was funny coz it was my last choice. I did told the persons who interviewed me that I do not want to be involved in the outbound operations and still, they placed me there. I wanted to be a Customer Care Rep. and here I am now, a Collections Asscociate ( sound good eh? taga singil lang naman). I could have refused or thought about it before signing the contract. They are giving me five days to decide. But hell, i was traumatized by the four interviews that i went through. I definitely for the moment, refuse to let that mentally straining activity happen to me again that i right away signed the contract. Well, the offer was tempting too, so i took it.

I left Vivere and wandered around Festival Mall. While waiting for my boyfriend, voices kept bugging me. They said that i shouldn't have signed right away, I may not be ready yet, I could find a better job, blah, blah, blah. When i got home, my sisters and my mom told me that working in a call center is not a good idea, its not good for my health, I will have no life at all considering that I'm in the night shift, and blah, blah, blah, but we say, the compensation is good though...

I ponder whether i did the right thing or not. Many times for the past few days, did i want to call HSBC to cancel my acceptance. But then i thought about it. Hey, it may not be that bad. Before i got out of school i was so dying to get a job at a call center, and here i am! I should be excited for my first job. I have to choose not to regret my decision. Like what i always do, I have to learn as much as i could from this experience. When I've learned enough, that's the time that i will have to take on new challenges and move on. Maybe this will help me realize what i really want to be and do with my life. So, i refuse to regret, and i stand by my decision.

Oh, and btw, I will be starting on May 16. So, technically, i'm still a bum. yey!

the end may be near

2005-04-06T14:15:00.000+08:00

After one entry and my sister Yax's effort of transforming my page,i think this blog will end soon. Well, the question is up to me until tomorrow. If things start turning bad (duh i'm going to work!!), this may go down to history as the shortest blog evah!

Two days ago I went to a job fair at Festival Mall, hoping to find well, a job for me. However, I was quite unsure if I was ready to work and put an end to this bum life which I am finding difficult to end as days roll. Anyway, I was ready and all with my one page resume, which I found not interesting enough and made worse by my looking-dead of a picture, an outfit that was corporate-y except without the word boring written all over it (hey I could say I did look interestingly good), and a few answers in case some questions will be asked. Anyway, my boyfriend, bestfriend, Mike, and I, to make a long and boring story short, ended up for an interview right away with HSBC at Vivere. Then it hit me. What will I say? I was not prepared for anything at all and the only thing that I prepared was the clothes that I was wearing and a few answers to easy questions. This will be my first interview and I’m not prepared. Worst, I don’t feel like doing this.

So there we were, waiting for the interviewers to call our names. While waiting, I had a voice inside me saying, “Why are you doing this? Are you ready to do this?” Then I told me, that “hey, it’s not like you are going to get this job. Get real, this is HSBC. Relax and this will prepare you for your next interview tomorrow.” When I was interviewed, I tell u, it wasn’t me. I gave the most absurd answers, I was jittery and all, and I wasn’t focused. If it wasn’t for that reading exercise that she gave me, which was the only thing that I think I did great, she could have sent me out of the room. So, imagine my surprise that she scheduled me for an exam at 1:30!

At 1:30, we came back and I hoped that the exam will only last for thirty minutes so that I could go to convergys which was just across the street. We went inside and boy, was I surprised that it wasn’t that hard. It lasted for an hour and I was like nanghinayang because I knew nothing will happen to me here and I’ve got better chances at convergys. But still I prayed that I will be better for the next step after the exam. To make the long and boring story short again, I lasted 3 more interviews and I got the job! Oh, I’m going to be a customer care rep. for HSBC’s call center. I was scheduled for a job offer tomorrow at 11:00

But you know what, I still can’t believe it. I don’t even know if they did the right choice for choosing me. I’m happy I got the job but still, after all the unfocused and unconvincing answers that I have given; I wonder what made them choose me. Well, maybe there is something or even a lot in me that they have seen which I didn’t. You know sometimes, I can be too hard on myself.

Well, tomorrow’s gonna be the big day! I will decide if I will be officially employed and expelled from bum life. If I will be employed, sorry my dear sister, Yax (who has such a gr8 blog btw), for the wasted time of improving (I might as well say, transforming) my page. I guess you’re gonna have to think about the next concept for my new blog if ever. Keep your fingers crossed for me and wish that they will offer me a high salary.

HERE'S A START...

2005-03-31T22:35:00.000+08:00

Let me begin with a sad story. Days before my graduation from college I received a call from our registrar. The call went like this:

Registrar: Good afternoon Ms. Aguirre. Did we inform you that you are a cum laude?
Kate: No ma'am ( tone: a really excited one coz I expected that I wont be one because of a 2.0 in typing. Btw, the lowest grade obtained must be 2.25 to graduate with honors)
R: Oh okay. Do you have a grade below 2.25? (there's the damn question!)
K: Yes ma'am. But it was just my typing subject back when I was in first year
R: Oo nga eh. We cancelled you from being the cum laude. You were supposed to deliver the speech nga sana.
K: Is there anything that I can do about it?
R: I'm afraid there is nothing you can do about it kase that was in 2001 pa e.

What was that?! Why did she have to give me a call, ask me if they already informed me that I was a cum laude which btw would give anybody asked by that question that he/she is going to be one, and slap in my face the greatest privilege that I could have obtained for the four years of hard work and dedication to my studies - doing that speech thing. I've delivered speeches during my high school days ( one included a very humiliating experience - banging my head on a mirror ball while going up the stage. Thanks Ferdie. Peace!). People congratulated me for doing a good job every time. In college, I received the same recognition whenever I go up in front and speak. My college professor even told me that when I talk, everyone just shuts up and listens. So you know, knowing what I have lost, aside from the honor of being the cum laude, was a big deal for me. And you see, before that call, I have come to accept that I'll never be one. And I was okay with that. But the way the registrar's opening went, it ignited that little hope I had in me for being one. And knowing about the speech thing really broke me. Okay, I think I already expressed my obsession for doing that speech. Enough about it already.

Well, I dreaded my graduation day and hearing the speech from a batch mate who was an honorable mention. But hey, I decided to make the most out of it before I entered the plenary hall of the PICC, which was so grand btw. I just thought of the people who could not graduate because of a failed subject and those who are not even in school. Hey, I'm lucky. I was happy and all during the whole of the ceremony except for that part when it was speech time. I endured all of it and I refuse to elaborate. Doing so would make me a terrible bitch.

You know what, days after, the speech thing haunted me. Okay, you can say that I'm a loser, but I did practice my would-have-been speech in front of the mirror for a couple days after. Who knows, I might be doing it after graduate school. Let your animos echo forever and inspire you to claim your right to rule wherever you go. Hey, I can't help it!

Well, now I'm officially a BUM! My sister helped me accept it just days ago (hey, I was in denial man). I was supposed to join one of the many bloggers since September of last year. But I know I cannot commit myself to updating it every time. Okay, okay, my life years ago was not worth writing. Hah! Does being a bum mean that I'll be having a great life ahead of me? I sure think so! (mom if you are reading, don't worry it won't be for long)

So join me as I journey this hopefully short BUM LIFE.